How very Drop Dead Gorgeous

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If you're a fan of "triumph of the human spirit" stories or "backstage sabotage at the beauty pageant" dish, the Associated Press has a story for you. Ingrid Marie Rivera was named Miss Puerto Rico Universe 2008 on Friday, but she didn't win the crown without overcoming an obstacle or two. Rivera (pictured above at the 2005 Miss World pageant) had to apply ice bags to her face and body backstage after she broke out in hives as a result of someone dousing her clothes with chemicals and spiking her makeup.

"We thought at first it was an allergic reaction, or maybe nerves," said pageant spokesman Harold Rosario. "But the second time, we knew it couldn't have been a coincidence."

Rivals -- thought to be averse to Rivera's participation, since she had already been second runner-up at Miss World -- apparently put pepper spray into her garments, according to tests conducted by pageant security agents, and a bag of Rivera's that contained her credit cards and other personal information mysteriously disappeared at one point during the event.

While Mr. Sardonic is certain that finally winning the crown was extremely satisfying to Ms. Rivera, it no doubt pales compared to the thought that all this must surely become the basis of a hilarious Lifetime movie starring Eva Longoria.